


falling to the bottom

by AllisonDiamond



Category: Daredevil (TV), Iron Fist (TV), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Defenders (Marvel TV)
Genre: Confused Matt Murdock, Eventual Relationships, Falling In Love, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Light Angst, M/M, POV Matt Murdock, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash, Romance, Sexuality Crisis, Slash, They Do Get Together At The End, because
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-11
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2019-01-15 04:00:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12313347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllisonDiamond/pseuds/AllisonDiamond
Summary: Matt falls for Danny and he is lost. Danny is a man and his friend. He doesn't know how to feel. Eventually, he accepts his feelings, but is it too late?





	falling to the bottom

 

Matt _hadn’t_ meant to fall in love.Not with _another_ man, but he did.

And he _was_ glad that it happened. Falling for Danny Rand was one of the best things to happen to him.

That wasn’t to say that _falling_ for Danny was easy and beautiful right away; in fact, it was anything but that in the beginning. 

Matt _outright_ refused to admit that he had feelings for Danny. He threw himself in his work both as Daredevil and Matt Murdock; anything to get away from dealing with those unwanted feelings.

They never left, no matter what he did. No matter who he fucked. His feelings for Danny remained as strong as ever and it confused the daylight out of him.

Hell, he started avoiding Danny out on the streets, and that was no easy task. Danny was always out there, as if he _knew_ what exactly he did to Matt.

That was silly to think. Danny was fighting crimes just like him. He wasn’t there to taunt him with his exotic scent. Matt was being paranoid.

But he smelled so wonderful, like lilies and honey, and Matt just wanted to devour him. He wanted to pick him off the streets, drop him on his bed, and have his way with him.

Danny was his _friend_ and a **_man_** , he had to remind himself whenever he had one of those thoughts.

It never worked. He could never bury those thoughts, no matter how hard he tried. Being around Danny became extremely hard.

Matt would just distance himself away from Danny, but Danny would always come to hang with him, always _seeming_ to flirt with him. 

Matt was just so frickin’ lost. 

What had been Danny’s intentions? 

He would spend hours thinking long and hard about just that. Nothing would come to him, as always, but sometimes he wondered if Danny actually knew of his feelings, and would purposely _flirt_ with him to make him even more confused.

He could never figure out his intentions, not until, on one night, when Bullseye left him to bleed in the streets after an intense fight.

That was when it came to him: he _was_ fuckin’ in love with Danny, and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it. It was high time he stopped denying it, and he promised himself to do something about it.

It was too late by that time. Danny had fallen for Misty and Matt was left heart-broken. 

He _was_ numb. He couldn’t think. Couldn’t function even more. Spent all his time fighting on the streets.

That didn’t take his pain away. It only made it stronger.

And every time, he saw Danny with Misty, his heart broke even more. He never let it show; Danny deserved his happiness and he wasn’t going to take it away from him.

So, he took his heart out and tried to heal it. He started _dating_ Clint — they got along so well — and he didn’t mind it was him for his first boyfriend.

But the thing with _Clint_ … it just didn’t feel right. There was nothing there. When he kissed Clint, it _felt_ awkward and stale. When he invited Clint up, it never went beyond a cup of coffee.

It wasn’t Clint’s fault. He was great but he just _wasn’t_ Danny.

Clint broke off things with him. Said it was him, and not Matt. Matt knew Clint was doing this for him and he felt like an ass that he didn’t even try to fall in love with him.

But it just wasn’t meant to be.

Matt _didn’t_ try to date anyone after Clint. He fucked a few women but the sex was lackluster at the best.

He just wasn’t interested in anyone but _Danny_. Danny had taken over his life completely.

It _was_ hard, especially when Danny came to talk to him about possibly proposing to Misty. Matt wanted to tell him to break things with Misty, and be with him instead, but that was a shitty thing to do.

And Misty and Danny were good for each other; they were almost **_tranquil_**. He didn’t want to ruin that beautiful relationship because of his own, stupid feelings.

So, he didn’t and gave Danny _proposal_ tips seeing as he did proposed to Karen and Elektra. Neither of those worked out but he did proposed to them.

He had never seen Danny happier when they went ring-shopping. The smile off his face was enough to send Matt off to his death; knowing that Danny was happy.

At the time, Matt didn’t know that _was_ going to be the last time he saw that smile on Danny’s face for a long time.

Misty _had_ broken off things that very night with Danny saying that they were drifting apart, and getting _married_ wouldn’t fix the hole in their relationship.

Danny had cried that night and Matt awkwardly comforted him, to the best of his ability. They fell asleep, with Danny’s limbs around Matt’s entire body, and his face pressed in the crook of Matt’s neck.

And the next morning, when they woke, Danny confined in him about his problems about Misty, and confessed that he could never be with her without comparing her to what it would have been if he were with _Matt_.

Matt didn’t know what to think. So, he said nothing and smiled.

That week, Danny invited himself in, and that was the start of something beautiful, Matt would soon come to realize. But for now, it _was_ hard yet weird having him there.

They would watch Saturday’s morning cartoons together. Matt _couldn’t_ watch them, so Danny would give him braille of the episodes. How he managed to do that, Matt didn’t know.

Matt didn’t paid much attention to the _cartoons_ ; he was too busy admiring Danny and his child-like enthusiasm for cartoons, and how he would only eat sugary cereals when he watched them.

Matt _was_ definitely in love, he realized.

Danny didn’t notice. He kept on enjoying himself. And that was more than enough for Matt.

But then … _things_ changed between them. It wasn’t anything special. It wasn’t sweet and predictable like with Karen. It wasn’t hot and unpredictable like with Elektra. It just was _that_ thing that happened.

Matt remembered the day; it was wet and hot and he was exhausted. He _had_ another fight with Bullseye, and Danny helped him this time; they managed to put the lunatic away for good.

It was good. He felt good. Fighting with Danny was always good _until_ he was pulling some crazy stunts. Danny pulled none that night. So everything was good.

They wenthome together, and they laid on their couch together; he rested his head on Danny’s lap. It was something they always did after a fight. Slept on the couch (or bed) together.

So, Matt didn’t think anything of it. Not even when Danny started to massage his head — that was normal; he did that all the time. Matt just closed his eyes and enjoyed the feel of the warm, soft-to-the-touch hands of Danny.

And when Danny leaned down, face just below Matt’s lips, Matt didn’t grew alarmed at all. He just enjoyed the wonderful feeling Danny was evoking in him with his magical hands.

And when Danny asked his permission to kiss him, it didn’t register in his brain, so he just nodded. 

And when Danny’s soft, gorgeous lips brushed against his, Matt didn’t feel a thing. It just felt _normal_ and _right_ , like it was always there. There were no sparks. No fire to his groin, no knee weakening touches, no heart racing, palms sweating, or even a need for one of those crazed, passionate makeout sessions.

As a matter of fact, Matt _fell_ asleep with Danny’s hands on his head, and his lips around his. “I love you so much,” he had said before he fell into one of the best sleeps he had for a long time.

Thinking back, it must have been one heck of an uncomfortable sleep for Danny, with Matt hogging up the entire couch.

Danny didn’t say a thing, though. In fact, he made Matt breakfast, or as Matt later found out, ordered it. Pancakes, eggs, bacons, toast, hash-browns, some juice, coffee, strawberries, and slices of bananas. 

It smelled divine and Matt didn’t waste any time digging in. He never felt as hungry as he did that morning.

Danny had laughed at him and called him “my very own adorable monkey.” Matt rolled his eyes at that phrase, which if, Matt had realized, would stick with him till the end of times, he wouldn’t have given it any attention.

Things were good. Matt couldn’t be happier.

Then Danny brought up the kiss and Matt dropped his fork immediately. 

He wasshocked. He didn’t honestly think the kiss happened. He believed he dreamed the whole thing. But it _did_ happen and Matt was too nervous and scared to want to know what Danny thought of the kiss and Matt blurting out his feelings.

“Oh, I see. I thought, you know, don’t worry ‘bout it. I understand,” Danny had said in a too-sweet-syrupy voice, backing away, knocking into the wall. “ _You … me_ … doesn’t make much sense. We aren’t that alike. We shared some things but not a lot. I thought — oh gosh, I’m sorry, Matt, I _kissed_ you when you were out of it. ”

Matt had froze up, face blank and eyes drawn wide open. “Danny,” he had said when he found his voice, “I _liked_ it. The kiss. I wanted it for the longest time, but I thought I missed my chance. I didn’t regret it a bit.” He had looked at Danny and smiled.

He didn’t know if Danny had returned his smile, but he had moved closer to Matt, and let out an awkward chuckle. “Oh, thank god.” He laughed. “For a moment there, I was worried. Thought it’d be like it was with Luke. That _was_ a disaster and it took us months before we could be friends again. I didn’t want that to happen with us.”

“You and Luke?” Matt raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Yeah. Luke and I … we _sort of_ had a thing, or I thought we did. We didn’t had a thing. I don’t know why I thought we had a thing.” He laughed again. “Long story short, I kissed him, and Luke punched me. And that was that. But we are best friends again. Thank god for that!”

“Oh, good.”

“Yeah, so where does that leave us?”

Where exactly? Matt thought. He wasn’t sure. He was glad for the kiss, and for his feelings to be returned, but a part of him knew that _Danny_ was probably not thinking. His breakup with Misty was stillrecent and all too fresh and he was probably looking for something to take the pain away.

Matt wasn’t going to be that thing.

“I don’t know,” Matt had said honestly.

“Oh,” Danny let out. “So, normal people would go out and see—”

“I don’t think that is a good idea,” Matt interjected, ignoring the lump in his chest. 

“Why not? I like you. You like me. What’s the problem?” Danny asked innocently enough.

Matt circled his hands around the mug and smiled. “I don’t think you’re ready to be with someone else yet. You haven’t had time to get over Misty and… When you are … _if you are still interested_ … I’ll still be here.”

“I know what I want, Matty,” Danny said frustratedly, moving closer to him, taking his hands in his. “And what I _want_ is you. Living with you these past three months felt right. I love it when you cooked for me. I love when you taught me those dance moves. I love that you let me use you as a pillow and a blanket. I love that you clean up after me. I want to be with you, as long as you will have me,” he said, and Matt can feel him gazing into his eyes. He squeezed his hands. “I want you, Matty. I always wanted you. What I had with Misty was special and wonderful, but it wasn’t what I needed. What I needed _was_ you. But if you don’t want me, if you changed your mind, just tell me and I’ll leave you alone.”

“No, I want you, too Danny, but I don’t know if you’re ready,” Matt let out, trying to take in all that Danny had just told him.

“I want you. I do,” Danny confessed. “So much that I can’t imagine living without you in my life. You’ve ruined me, Murdock. You’re too good of a roommate to give up on.” He laughed. “But seriously, Matt, I want to give us a try, and see where it goes. If it doesn’t work, then that’s that. But if we turned out to be a power couple, I’d hate not giving myself the chance to find that out. ”

Matt was hesitant but he eventually agreed. “I guess it can’t hurt to give it a try.”

“Great. How ‘bout McDonalds?”

“McDonalds?”

“I’m kidding. You deserve way better than that junk. How ‘bout you relax and let me take care of you for the day?”

“I don’t know—”

“C’mon, Matt. You’ve taken care of me these past few months. Let me return the favor.”

“Alright.”

Falling in love was Danny Rand was spark-free, excitement-free, full of awkwardness, but it could shape up to be the best darn thing in his life, and Matt was going to cherish it for as long as he could possibly.

Because he was madly and hopelessly in love with this wonderful, childish man, and he wouldn’t give it up for anything in the world.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to write something awesome, but I spent hours on this instead. This ship has too little fics. I'll probably write some of the things I want to read. I wonder if I will ever write that David Haller/Danny Rand/Matt Murdock love triangle though. We will see. 
> 
> Come say hi on [tumblr](http://neenabthurman.tumblr.com)


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